This is the one-year anniversary of my wife’s homegoing to heaven, 8/5/25-8/5/26. I am learning 3 truths. I already posted T1 & T2.

T3: Living with Purpose Heals Grief: What has kept me from despair and paralysis has been living with purpose. I have something to live for. I was involved in two ministries while taking care of Sandie during her at-home hospice time. I could work as a PRN chaplain at night while she slept. I could temporarily get away from caretaker stress and serve as a visiting preacher to a west TX church while Sandie went to a medical lodge. (Hospice care allowed 5 days of caretaker respite every 30 days.) I still serve as a part-time chaplain and pastor since she has gone to heaven, her homegoing. While most widows and widowers would probably say the main motive to keep living is their children and grandchildren, that’s not true for me. (Currently I only have a relationship with 2 of my 4 children.) So, the main motive for me to keep living is purposeful ministry. It’s BEING a chaplain and pastor. (“Being” is identity and serving is the action that flows from being. I am a belove child of God with a purpose, a mission, an assignment to serve. That’s my main motive.)  Serving as a chaplain and pastor I can forget about myself while helping other people. Being the Lord’s son and serving Him is healing.

Sorrow turned to joy: John 16:20-22. Jesus told the disciples they would grieve His death, but then their sorrow would be turned to joy. Jesus compared it to a woman giving birth. The disciples felt sorrow and grief at Jesus’ death but then joy at His resurrection. After Jesus’ resurrection they were given a new purpose and the HS (Matthew 28:18-20). The resurrection, a new purpose, and the HS healed their grief. After the death of a spouse, you will have a season of sorrow and grief, but you have hope and know your spouse is in heaven. If the Lord took your spouse to be with Him, and left you in this world, then He has a purpose for you, a mission, an assignment. Seek Him to know it. Living with His purpose will heal your grief.

Hebrews 12:1-2 challenges us to run with endurance the race, the mission, the assignment set before us while keeping our eyes on Jesus. Jesus endured the cross for the joy that was set before Him. What was the joy placed before Him? What did Jesus see beyond the pain of the cross? He saw His purpose. I believe He saw a sanctified bride, millions of people in love with Him, the Father, and the Spirit (Revelation 19:7-8). We can endure the grief of the loss of a spouse, a child, a parent, when we see His purpose for us to remain. The pain will lessen, the grief will subside, joy will return as we live in His purpose.

There are times life is hard, and I would rather be with my wife in heaven, but then I confess I have His purpose to remain, to be His and serve Him until He calls me home and says “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter the eternal joy of My kingdom.”