Some people do not want to settle for “win win” – that is, compromise so both parties in a dispute win.
I had a dispute with someone very close to me today. It was about nothing really important. I am ready and willing to settle the dispute. But this other person in the dispute keeps coming at me. She makes her point over and over again until either I yield or I yell. (Yelling turns a spark into a raging fire – self control!) I feel like a suspect being interrogated by persistent detectives who are convinced I committed the crime and are determined to get a confession from me.
What is the biblical way to handle a dispute like this?
I think I can extract a principle from 1 Corinthians 6:1-11. Apostle Paul told Christians suing each other to stop. Don’t allow worldly judges to settle your disputes. Paul asked some very hard questions: “Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?” It is better to suffer wrong or be defrauded than to take our disputes before the world. It seems to me like Paul is saying, “Let it go. Don’t fight and become angry and bitter and a bad witness.” If you can suffer wrong and accept being defrauded over something major like Paul’s example, then why not something minor, even trivial? Tell the other person in the dispute, “OK, you win! I give you the last word.” It’s hard because the sinful nature in you (and me) doesn’t want to yield. Of course, if you are wrong and realize it, then apologize.
I heard a sermon recently about being unoffendable or un-offend-able. I went forward for prayer!
Colossians 3:12-14 is an excellent scripture for resolving and ending disputes.